Friday, February 18, 2005

Top Ten Obstacles for New Homeland Security Director John Negroponte

10. Won't have Jeff Gannon in Briefing Room throwing softball questions at him during Press Conferences

9. Taking a paycut to head post; Can't open private social security account

8. Doesn't know how he'll convince administration to let his buddies, the Honduran military, be the Coalition of the Willing

7. Knows where the Weapons of Mass Destruction are; Has to wait awhile before springing scoop

6. Artist Christo stole his idea for new terrorist warning system with the orange gates

5. Central Intelligence Agency director Porter Goss refuses to call him 'El Jeffe'

4. Keeps getting calls from Oliver North, needling him to 'come clean'

3. Pocket Change - Left his bags in Nicaragua

2. Due to recent scandal, can't put Armstrong Williams on payroll to publicize department's programs

1. Will have a tough time convincing Congress to designate the Contra's as a legitamite branch of his deparment

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