Monday, March 07, 2005

Top Ten Cloves: Signs The Government Is Screwing with Your Private Retirement Account

10. President Bush goes on television and blames you for the trouble with Social Security

9. Strongly suggests you start working on Saturdays to help build the account up

8. Sends Governor Schwarzenegger to your house to "collect" the interest

7. You discover Speaker of House Dennis Hastert is charging his meals at swank restaurant to your account

6. No Monthly Statement; You get voicemails from Secretary of Treasury John Snow laughing at you

5. Instead of nest egg, government promises you special chocolate egg with Presidential Seal on it

4. You get signed photo in mail of special Congressional junket to Aruba, thanking you for letting them use your Frequent Flyer Milage

3. Threatens to put you and your family in the Extraordinary Rendition program unless you start saving more

2. Sets your Personal Retirement Age at 86

1. You get email from Nigerian Prince offering to help you to get your money

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