Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Top Ten Cloves: Things Nicholas Cage Is Going To Have To Do For His Son, Kal-el

10. Check City Hall records to see if there is a "Lex Luthor" living in the town

9. If he starts wearing tights, that they don't have an "S" on them, it might be time to move to San Francisco

8. Hmmn, the old George Reeves series or the Christopher Reeve movies … Tough choice on what to let him watch

7. Lobby the pregnant neighbor, who is having a girl, to name her Lois Lane

6. Kryptonite-proof the house

5. Start to, instead of swearing in front of the kid, learn to say "Great Caesar's Ghost"

4. Get lead doors and walls for the bedroom

3. Call Neiman-Marcus to see if you can get a retro telephone booth,so the kid has something he can change in every day

2. Figure out how to tell the kid, because of the real estate bubble, he doesn't have a special, secret ice house in North Country

1. Start the kid off slow, by just having him jump over ranch houses

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