Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves 31 December 2005

New evidence surfaced this week, of racial prejudice during the relief effort in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina. An internal video conference shows Homeland Security Director Michael Chertoff using the "White Power" salute when issuing orders to FEMA personnel

















Citing the recent revelations that President Bush ordered wiretapping and eavesdropping of American citizens, God announced that Hell has frozen over.














In a related matter, the White House admitted today, due to information gathered on NSA wiretaps, they broke up an "internation plot" when they siezed a Mr. Santa Claus entering the country illegally on December 24 or 25th and are holding the North Pole resident as an Enemy Combatant











To help pay, for what legal experts says will be a staggering amount, in the millions, for their defense, former Enron executives are issuing a series of trading cards, that will list the charges and sentence on the back, of all the former Enron employees responsible for the company's failure.

Unlike other trading cards, the Enron series will lose all value within a matter of weeks after purchase.


Nearly three-years after the start of the Iraq War, the Defense Department is finally issuing the new "Smart Turban" helmets for all troops deployed in the region. The features of the "Smart Turban" are classified, however Pentagon officials say they are "very comfortable" and that the troops "love'em".

















The International Cricket Association announced this week that, like many other professional sports, their game has also become prisoner to remarkable feats and shattered records due to steroids

Major League Baseball said this week that they are adding another penalty to their recently-announced Steroid Abuse Policy. First-time users, in addition to being suspended and fined, will also get "a good backhand" from Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig