Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Breaking News - White House Launches “Save The Ports, Save Claude” mission

White House Sought Deal With Target To Let Bush Aide Off

Coleman Played Point Man; Offered “Halliburton-Sized Contracts” and Would “Shut Down Wal-Mart”

If Senator John Warner (R-VA) was the face for the Bush Administration on the still-smoldering, chaotic Dubai Ports World Deal, then you can paint a red bullseye on Senator Norm Coleman’s (R-MN) forehead.

Sources tell The Garlic that a detailed and frantic effort was made by the White House over the past two months, to keep Claude Allen, President Bush’s top domestic policy adviser, out of jail - and the media - following his arrest for theft, involving a phony refund scheme at two department stores.

Allen is accused of swindling Hecht’s, the dominant, 148-year-old Washington area department store chain, and Target Corporation of over $5,000. Allen, allegedly would purchase items, place them in his automobile, then go back into the stores, and take the same item off the shelf and over to the Returns desk for a refund, producing the freshly-printed sales receipt.

White House Launches “Save The Ports, Save Claude” mission

According to sources close to the Bush Administration, the White House swung into action on the news of Allen’s arrest, with some West Wing staffers dubbing it as “Save The Ports, Save Claude” mission.

“They probably should have pulled in Katherine Armstrong,” said Dix Whitcomb, editor of the newsletter "Our Laws Are Different", “if they wanted to keep the spin straight on this one.”

Almost immediately, according to Whitcomb, the White House sought meetings with the two department stores.

Reportedly, Hecht’s was willing to work with the White House, essentially seeking only to be reimbursed for the items taken by Allen in the scam.

Target Corporation, who boasts one of the nation’s top forensics crime labs, refused and indicated they would seek criminal charges.

Bush Uninvolved, Laser Focusing On Iran

It’s not clear at this time how involved President Bush is in this matter.

“He’s in his “Iran” mode right now,” says Holly Martins, Publisher of Axis of Evil Illustrated, a quarterly publication that is rumored to be a house magazine for the Project for The New American Century.

“He’s getting boxed in,” added Martins. “He can’t say with certainty who the enemy is in Iraq… He doesn’t have anybody left to kick over Hurricane Katrina … He’s drawn the line in the sand on the ports deal – and got the sand thrown back in his face, so it’s time to make up a new force of evil … Somebody else who’s coming along to threaten the country …Iran is coming right out of Central Casting for this one ...”

Coleman Suggests Replacing Target Mascot With President’s Dog Barney

With their headquarters in the Nicollet Mall, in downtown Minneapolis, Minnesota, the White House called in the junior senator from the state, Norm Coleman, to intercede on their behalf.

“No big surprise there,” said Whitcomb. “Karl Rove says “jump” and Coleman asks how high.”

Coleman was first convinced by Rove to run for public office, and to go for the Senate seat opened up by the sudden and tragic death of Senator Paul Wellstone. Coleman narrowly defeated former Vice President Walter Mondale and has consistently supported President Bush in his voting, up to 98% of the time in 2003.

Coleman came into the nation’s attention, back in May 2005, when he was publicly dressed-down by British Member of Parliament George Galloway (Respect Party) during Senate Hearings, on a report issued by Coleman's Permanent Select Subcommittee on Investigations that charged Galloway with personally profiting from Iraq's United Nations Oil-for-Food program.

Galloway denied the charges, and had previously won lawsuits against British newspapers over the allegations, which Coleman cited, unsubstantiated in his report.

Reportedly, in a meeting with Target Chief Executive Officer Robert J. Ulrich, Coleman broached the subject of Allen’s arrest, indicating the White House would be “appreciative” if something could be worked out.

“Supposedly,” said Whitcomb, “Coleman, having initially been left to his own devices, suggested to Ulrich that Target replace Bullseye, the company’s Bull Terrier and trademark, with the President’s dog, Barney, giving Ulrich the opportunity to meet with President Bush in the Oval Office, film their television commercials on the White House grounds.”

Ulrich rejected the offer, citing to Coleman the work Target has done with the Secret Service, the ATF, NASA, the FBI, and other law enforcement agencies around the country and that they had a rock-solid case against Allen.

Rove, Card Offer Halliburton-Sized Contracts and Would Shut Down Wal-Mart

‘The White House wasn’t happy with the news,” said Whitcomb.

At this point, Rove, and White House Chief of Staff Andy Card got directly involved.

Unconfirmed reports say that Ulrich was offered by Rove and Card “Halliburton-sized contracts” and that the Administration could take action to “shut down Wal-Mart”. There was also discussion about giving Target uncontested rights to build stores in Iraq and using monies from the reconstruction budget to get them up and running.

‘I heard they even suggested they could hook-up Target with DP World, and put retail into the ports deal,” said Whitcomb.

Ulrich Angered, Threatened With Rove Smear Campaign

The entreaties by the White House reportedly angered Ulrich and he let Rove and Card know it.

“This isn’t some rabbit hutch in Texas, where you can choreograph how it all plays out,” Ulrich fired off in an email to the White House. “We’re not going to say we’re sorry for having your person arrested.”

Reportedly, Rove responded to the email, asking if Ulrich “was gay”, and if Target offered special discounts and credit terms to “woman who have had abortions”, perhaps an oblique reference to a pending Rove smear campaign.

In a related item, Washington Post reporter and author Bob Woodward said he knew of Allen’s refund scam but chose not to write about it.

“I cover the President of the United States, not the suburban Washington crime beat.”













Senator Norm Coleman (R-MN) was the White House point-man in an attempt to make a deal with Target Corporation, to not press charges against Bush Aide Claude Allen

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