Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Top Ten Cloves: Potential Problems Mike Wallace Will Face In Retirement

10. Hitting up on Lara Logan will still make him feel like he’ll bring scandal down on 60-Minutes with a Sexual Harassment suit

9. Has the time now to kick his son’s ass for working at Fox News

8. Realizes quickly, that even with title of Correspondent Emeritus, he will still have to pay for lunch in company cafeteria

7. Late night, drunken phone calls from Dan Rather, pissed off that he was pushed out and Wallace wasn’t

6. Since he traveled with 60 Minutes all over the world the last 38-years, no new places to go for vacations

5. Les Moonves hits him with a lawsuit the second he gets off the air

4. Finds he misses more than he thought he would, the smell when Ed Bradley walked around office with his shoes off

3. Won’t be able to sleep without a ticking stopwatch nearby

2. Crushing disappointment when CBS tells him his news scoops from Nestor at the bodega near his apartment just aren’t up to network standards

1. Every 50-Minutes, no matter where he is, he’ll turn sideways in his chair and announce “And, now, a Few Minutes with Andy Rooney

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