Monday, March 13, 2006

Top Ten Cloves: Signs That March Madness Is Taking Root In The White House

10. New article says, when pulled off WMD story, Judith Miller said to Bill Keller; “Who gives a shit about basketball!”

9. NSA runs special Wiretap program, concentrating on teams in tournament, to get inside info before placing their bets

8. President Bush and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice briefed fully on tournament, so there’s “no surprises”

7. Scooter Libby’s lawyers to subpoena NCAA Tournament records to show how busy he was in March

6. White House Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives putting it all down on Oral Roberts to sweep the brackets

5. Big Screen TV for Final Four part of ex-Bush Aide Claude Allen’s phony refund scheme

4. President Bush encourages NCAA to embrace “globalism” and expand tournament beyond just 64 teams

3. Secretary of the Interior Gail Norton resigned so she could attend tourney in person this year

2. President Bush directs Department of Health & Human Services, to cover March Madness in new Medicare prescription plan

1. White House Staff too burned out to make up Tournament Pool Box Chart

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