Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Breaking News! McClellan Points Finger At Bolten, Says Rough Period Ahead For White House

McClellan Surprised Resignation Accepted; Miffed No “Vigorous Defense” From President

Guesses “You Have To Screw Up A War” To Be Protected: Rove Moved, Will Concentrate Fulltime On Smearing

More discord in the White House this morning as Press Secretary Scott McClellan announced his resignation, and Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove had his duties adjusted, taking away policy oversight so he could devote his full energies in developing smear campaigns for the Fall’s mid-term Congressional elections.

While President Bush complimented McClellan, saying that he "handled his assignment with class, integrity," McClellan was both surprised and disappointed that his resignation was accepted.

McClellan Points Finger At Bolten, Says Rough Period Ahead For White House

Speaking candidly to a group of reporters following the announcement, McClellan stated that he, “as a gesture to the new Chief of Staff” submitted his resignation. It had been reported earlier this week that Joshua Bolten suggested to the Administration that, if they were thinking of leaving soon, now was the time to exit.

“It surprised me that Mr. Bolten took my resignation letter right away, directly into the President,” said a chagrinned McClellan.

In a matter of minutes, Bolton emerged from the Oval Office and coldly announced “Okay, you’re gone.”

“For all I know, the President may not have been in the office,” McClellan added. “It seemed pretty quick.”

McClellan hinted at, what could be, a very rough period for the White House, with Bolten serving as Chief of Staff.

“Look how, on his first day, or two, how he messed up rallying the wagons for Rumsfeld,” offered McClellan, referring to the snafu in which Bolten, reportedly, ordered unused FEMA trailers from the Hurricane Katrina relief effort, and ordered them to be painted Army green.

McClellan pointed to the smooth, efficient, professional operations of former Chief of Staff Andy Card and disparaged that “those days are long gone.”

McClellan: “No generals have complained about me at all ...”

McClellan admitted to being more that “a little disappointed” in the, seemingly, lack of support from President Bush. He cited how Defense Secretary Rumsfeld submitted his resignation to the President on two occasions, with the President not accepting it.

“I didn’t really expect the President to accept mine,” offered McClellan. “I mean, no generals have complained about me at all ... Sure, I’ve had a few headbutts with the Press Corps, but that goes with the territory of a very tough job ...”

“I guess,” added the now former Press Secretary, “that you have to screw up a war in order to be vigorously defended.”

Rove Being “Let Loose” For Fall Midterm Smear Campaign

Also announced this morning was that longtime Bush friend, confidant and adviser Karl Rove, currently the Deputy Chief of Staff, as well as carrying the titles of Senior Advisor and Chief Policy Aide to the President, will have his workload reduced (or increased, depending on your perspective) with the vague assignment of “focus more on politics” with the approaching midterm Fall elections.

“This isn’t, necessarily, good news for the Democrats,” offered David Aaronson, editor of 'What Color Is My Coat Today?’ the Capital Hill Newsletter that tracks politicians who turn on their own party.

“This looks like a signal that, despite a potential indictment hanging over him in the Scooter Libby case, they’re going to let the “old Karl Rove” loose ... And that means down-and-dirty politics and a few healthy smear campaigns in some key states.”

The White House offered no additional comments on the Rove move, and Rove himself could not be reached for comment.

Rove, Santorum Taking A “Hit” Out On Sopranos?

There was running speculation that Rove was in Pennsylvania today, meeting with Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA), to consult on a possible smear campaign against actor James Gandolfini.

In the most recent episode of HBO’s “The Sopranos”, Gandolfini’s character, Tony Soprano, in speaking with his psychiatrist about homosexuality, offered his agreement with the Pennsylvanian Senator, saying that “Sen. Sanatorium, who says if we let this stuff go too far, pretty soon we'll be fucking dogs."

Santorum has offered comparable sentiments about homosexuality in past speeches.

Facing a very tough campaign, against Democratic challenger Bob Casey, Santorum is looking at recent polls, showing the incumbent Republican trailing by 11-points, or more.

Santorum’s staff refused to comment, both on the “Sopranos” reference, or confirming meeting with Rove.

It was listed on the Senator’s schedule, a campaign speech on the “Immorality In Hollywood”, highlighting the “very famous actors conducting in gross practices, such as bestiality”

I guess,” complained the now former Press Secretary Scott McClellan, “that you have to screw up a war in order to be vigorously defended

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