News Item: Bush Set to Use First Veto on Stem Cell Bill
10. Teases Vice President Cheney – Says this is how he will sign his pardon, if he decides to offer one
9. Needs to sign veto quickly – Senator Rick Santorum calling Press Conference to say he’s found batch of stem cells
8. Reflects for a moment – How would Jesus sign a veto?
7. Before signing veto, asks if
6. Long delay before signing veto, having to wait for Secret Service to sweep room for any microphones that will pick up unscripted comments
5. Staff has to endure President’s not-very-good Marlon Brando-as-Vito Corleone impersonation
4. Asks staff to tie veto into Global War On Terror; Doesn’t anyone else remember the CIA saying something about Sadam Hussein trying to purchase stem cells
3. Has to fight off Senator Joe Lieberman (D-CT?), who is filing papers this morning that will allow him to veto bill
2. Because of jet lag in returning from G8, gets confused and adds a Signing Statement to bill
1. Confident Karl Rove will come up with some lie or smear to make it look like Democrats vetoed bill
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President Bush has warned Congress, that if they attempt to override his first veto, he will likely have newly hired Bush Team member, and World Cup star and legendary French soccer captain, Zinedine Zidane pay a visit to Capital Hill, so they can put their heads together on backing the President
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