Start Your Katie Deathwatches!

Boy, a whole bunch of celebrity blogs and websites must be busy little bees today.

There's so much to do.

Whole new slates of graphics ... The Death Clocks and Counters have to be put together ... Compiling all the old links of every little piece of gossip, sleaze, faux pas and just plain goofy news they can find.

All must be ready to go at a moments notice, at the drop-of-a-hat, PDQ, etc ...

All must be ready to be fired up, the moment that ear-shattering "THUD" hits her on the derrière, as she is ushered out of the building.

What's all the hub-bub?

From the WSJ - CBS News, Katie Couric Are Likely to Part Ways

After two years of record-low ratings, both CBS News executives and people close to Katie Couric say that the "CBS Evening News" anchor is likely to leave the network well before her contract expires in 2011 -- possibly soon after the presidential inauguration early next year.

Her departure would cap a difficult episode for CBS, which brought Ms. Couric to the network with considerable fanfare in a bid to catapult "Evening News" back into first place. Excluding several weeks of her tenure, Ms. Couric never bested the ratings of interim anchor Bob Schieffer, who was named to host the broadcast temporarily after "Evening News" anchor Dan Rather left the newscast in the wake of a discredited report on George W. Bush's National Guard service.

One possible new job for Ms. Couric: succeeding Larry King at CNN. Mr. King, who is 74 years old, has a contract with the network into 2009. CNN President Jon Klein, a CBS veteran with close ties to some at the network, has expressed admiration for Ms. Couric's work, and the two are friends. They had lunch in late January, and the anchor attended Mr. Klein's birthday party in March. Time Warner Inc.'s CNN said, "Larry King is a great talent who consistently delivers the highest profile guests, and we have no plans to make a change." Through a publicist, Mr. King declined to comment.

Katie in suspenders, barking "Hello Ohio! ... What's on your mind!"?

Oh my!

New York Magazine has a better idea;

But we think that's a waste of everything that Couric is good at: spontaneity, humor, and legginess. What about a reality show? We can see it now — America's Next Top Evening News Anchor. And just like on Tyra's version, nobody would ever lay eyes on the winner again!

But would that be enough?

From Howard Kurtz, in the WaPo;

Couric admitted last week that the constricted nature of the 22-minute format had left little room for the humor and freewheeling approach that once defined her style. "It's really hard to show that side of my personality on the evening news, and that's a frustration for me," she said.

This has me wondering if Ms. Perky ever watched an evening news show, be it CBS's or any other - before she took the job?

"It's really hard to that side of my personality"? ... "Frustrated"?

What the hell did she expect?

Segments with Mr. Gadget? ... Cooking casseroles with Martha Stewart?

It's a fucking hard news program, you idiot!

A real piece of twisted irony looms.

What if CBS does dump the perky newswoman, only to replace her with the former CBS alum, Meredeth Viera?

Oh, how wicked that would be ...


Bonus Perky Riffs

James Joyner/OTB: Katie Couric - CBS News Divorce Imminent

Gawker: The Rise And Fall Of Katie Couric

Russell Mokhiber and Robert Weissman/CommonDreams: Katie Couric Versus Amy Goodman

Top Ten Cloves: Things To Look Forward To When Katie Couric Takes Over As CBS News Anchor

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Katie Couric Could Have Made The Edwards Interview Better

Katie ... Now, Just Click Your Heels Together Three Times ...